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What pisses you off about me: Confessions of a terrible passenger

I had waited a long time for this trip. And everything would have been fine, but I was unlucky with the tickets: the only flight was at 6:00 a.m. I got up early and got to the airport. I got up early, got to the airport and suddenly hated everyone around me. It happens, because travel is not a reason to be happy.*
The most exciting thing ahead: the quest to ruin the mood of all the passengers. It's an important mission, and it goes to a select few. But I can do it.

*We cannot agree that travel isn't a reason to be happy as our team at Visa Express Inc. makes everything for our clients to ease their complications before and after their travel. We can help to Replace lost or stolen passport and also replace damaged U.S. Passport.

What will I do at the airport to make you feel angry?
I'll push my suitcase in front of me at the entrance, and I'll shout as loudly as I can about why I should take the cart, and why the line is so slow. I should be heard, understood, and let through, since I'm the first one up this morning.
I will forcefully chase unregistered passengers away from the drop-off counter. These brats think it's okay to ignore the rules and get in line with those who have thought about checking in ahead of time. Enough of this!
I'm going to argue with airport workers at security as long as possible: walking on the cold floor in shoe pads pulled over my socks is the height of disrespect. I have to prove it any way I can, even if there is already a line of people behind me who are ready to bend over.
I walk through the Duty Free and will comment aloud that the prices in the stores are much lower than here, and here's the delicious whiskey, which I had planned to buy, today will be left without my attention. After remarks like that, the pricing policy of Free Zone stores should definitely change.
Then I find my gate ahead of time and get up first to board. I love crowding in.
Does the stewardess ask for a boarding pass? I don't do that! I know where I'm boarding. I always yell at the lady in uniform to show her who's boss on the plane. I pay the money, I order the music. You could also ask for some vodka, by the way.
I'll make everyone on the plane suffer
Did someone take up all the luggage space? I wouldn't even think of putting my stuff on the next one. To resolve the issue, I will stand in the middle of the aisle, stopping the column of passengers, and ask loudly (more than once) whose bag it is. In doing so, I will point out its imperfections, such as size, cleanliness, and cost. The owner will be found quickly. Otherwise, I'll swap the bag with mine and pretend that it was.
The requirement to buckle up was invented by greedy airline bosses: with my seatbelt tightened, less food would go in. That means I won't have to ask for a refill, which saves the company budget. Now you know about this great international conspiracy, too! You can unbuckle and run around the cabin to make room for an extra sandwich.

A little more after the flight
I won't say goodbye to the stewardesses, it's a mauvais ton. Especially since I remember the tone with which one of them asked me to show her boarding pass. As if I was a hare! It's about time to take revenge and point out that the service on the last flight was much better. Checkmate!

There was no doubt that I jumped up right after landing and was the first to rush out onto the boarding bridge - you know, space at the luggage belt is limited. I always try to stand with my legs and elbows as wide apart as possible. Take the empty space on the left with my backpack, and on the right with my cart. No one should invade my space, let them wait. The ideal is if I'm traveling with relatives: then I can line them all up in a row along the ribbon.

Well, got to point "B." Of course, the idea was awful, the flight was disgusting, but maybe, at least here, abroad, I can rest. About all of this, by the way, I will complain in detail to my fellow travelers on the way to the hotel. And I'll be glad nothing has crossed my mind so far.
Because I'm not a nice person.

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